This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
