If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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