who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
