At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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