hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Your face is a jimmy john
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I still have a little drunk in my system
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
