dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
