Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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