I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
