you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
