Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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