Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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