Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
