I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
