I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
