There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
