My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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