The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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