I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
