operation have a gay friend backfired
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
