I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
