There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
