3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
