I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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