nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
