marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My life is pants optional.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
