To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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