Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
