if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
