You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
