i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
