I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
