so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
