ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
