youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
