You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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