Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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