He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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