didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
