Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
