We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Couch. On fire.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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