what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
