so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
