is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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