Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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