Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
