I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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