I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she looked like the before picture.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
