I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
