Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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