I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
