Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize