your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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