What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
